Ask intentional, empowering questions

“How was school today?”

“Good.”

Does this exchange sound familiar? Many parents and caregivers genuinely want to know how their child’s day was, but they may be left with feelings of uncertainty or disappointment when their inquiry is met with a one word answer. Once equipped with an understanding of how to question effectively, parents can frame questions in a way that empowers learners, increases self-awareness, and facilitates organization of ideas. These skills all work together to enhance a student’s executive functioning toolbox, which lays the foundation for success both in academics and in life. 

 

One Question at a Time

A key piece to consider is the importance of asking only one question at a time. When a parent asks: 

“How are you? How was school today?” 

A typical answer here will only address one question, not both. Firing off two questions at once may cause the child to feel overwhelmed and/or not know where to focus their attention. What’s more, the answer you receive to a multi-part question might be misleading or misrepresentative of the reality. For example, how a child is feeling after school and how their school day was may be different – perhaps they’re in a really good mood now, but had a really overwhelming morning learning new content. There is no ‘right or wrong’ way to gather information, but questions can be posed one at a time to strengthen students’ communication skills  and boost students’ confidence. 

 

Silence: Using Wait Time

Silence is an essential part of communicating effectively, especially when posing questions to students. Silence demonstrates that the listener is patient and interested in what the speaker has to say – most importantly, appropriate wait time allows space for a speaker to process the question, formulate a response, and express their thoughts and feelings. Though it may feel a bit awkward, it is important to create purposeful silence after posing a question, especially if a child is neurodiverse. To use wait time effectively, practice using 2-5 seconds of silence after a simple question and 5-10 seconds of silence after a thought-provoking question. 

 

Open-Ended Questions

There are two overarching categories of questions: open-ended and close-ended questions.

Open-ended questions are typically free-form in nature, and, as such, are effective for gathering more information, encouraging the speaker to share, and building a stronger relationship. Open-Ended questions may start with “What,” “Why,” “Where,” or “How.” An impactful open-ended prompt may begin with “Tell me about…” or “Help me understand…” Open-ended questions can be used to explore feelings, attitudes, experiences, and opinions; They are often experienced as less-judgemental and less confrontational by the person receiving the question than closed-ended questions. 

Examples of Open-Ended Questions may include:

• Tell me about your day…
• What are you learning about in [class]?
• Where are you tracking your homework assignments?
• How can I support you?

 

Closed-Ended Questions

Closed-ended questions, on the other hand, are typically answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response. These questions can be valuable for gathering specific information.  Here are a few examples:

Examples of Closed-Ended Questions: 

• Did you remember to submit your permission slip?
• Are you open to looking at your grades together this evening?
• Did you write new homework assignments in your planner today?
• Do you have homework to do tonight?

One thing to keep in mind with closed-ended questions is the importance of respecting boundaries. For instance, when a student answers “no” to an “Are you willing to…” question, upholding the student’s decision then becomes key in building a trusting relationship and demonstrating respect. 

 

Combination Questions

Because closed-ended questions are often answered in a few words, it can be helpful to combine open and closed questions to better-understand the complete picture. Consider how open-ended and closed-ended questions can be used in combination with silence to gather relevant information and / or increase self-awareness. 

 

Questions to Organize Ideas:

“What resources do you have to help you study for your math test next week?” (open)

AND

“Did your teacher provide a review packet to help you study?” (closed)

Questions to Reflect:

“How did you feel while taking the math test today?” (open)

AND

“Did you try a new test-taking strategy on the math test today?” (closed)

Questions to Prioritize:

“How much time and energy will your math homework require?” (Open)

AND

“Do you have the resources to complete your math homework independently?” (Closed)

Questions to Facilitate Self-Advocacy:

“Where might you find help and support as you prepare for your math test?” (Open)

AND

“Are you open to signing up for a FLEX period with your math teacher to prepare for the test?” (Closed)

There is no perfect ratio of closed-ended to open-ended questions, but the two can work symbiotically to help parents gather information, monitor student progress and support executive function skills like planning/time management, physical organization and task initiation.

In sum, intentional questioning practices can help parents and guardians in supporting their child’s executive functioning. By asking questions one at a time, utilizing wait time, and posing a thoughtful mix of open and closed-ended questions, parents can enable their child to communicate effectively, organize their thinking, increase their self-awareness, and gain reflective skills.