Reframing Resilience: Teaching Skills to Support Navigating Adversity

By Sarah Gossman, EM Instructor

When we think of the word resilience, we often think of phrases such as “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” or “push through the pain.” However, resilience is so much more than this. Resilience is a crucial component when discussing mental health, especially with students. Students learn, grow, experience new things, and ultimately are presented with setbacks. Let’s explore some common myths about resilience, and how to teach and model resilience.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is the “process of adapting in the face of adversity, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress.” Students are constantly faced with new opportunities and challenges, such as moving on to a new grade, social stress of friend groups, an increase of responsibilities at home, on top of their academic and extracurricular obligations. Prioritizing conversations about resiliency can lead to improved well-being, the development of strong relationships and a support system, improved mental health, and overall, an improved sense of confidence. When students are able to learn from their experiences and develop the problem solving skills to either improve the situation, or move on from it, they also build confidence within themselves.

Teaching Resilience

Resilience is not something that we are born with. When we strength train, we work our muscles and consistently engage in physical activity to get our desired result. Resiliency is a similar concept. We have to train our brains and learn through our own lived experiences to acquire and develop a new skill set. Resilience can be taught, built, and encouraged at any age level. Here are a few ways you can build resiliency for the students in your life:

Model Healthy Coping: Whether you’re a teacher or a parent, students are sponges. They notice your body language, how you communicate with them and others, and your actions. If you model bad coping skills in the face of adversity, they will take note. Good coping skills include communicating feelings, practicing mindfulness, and emphasizing the importance of seeking help when needed!
Acknowledge Feelings: It can be frustrating when things don’t work the way we want to! Resilience is NOT pretending that bad things don’t exist. Resilience is acknowledging that things might not work out the way we want them to, but that we can learn to come to terms with that. Use phrases such as “I hear you,” “your feelings are valid,” and “I understand where you’re coming from.” These are extremely beneficial in validating and creating a space to share and acknowledge feelings.
Identify Community and Support Systems: We cannot do everything ourselves! Encourage students to flex self-advocacy skills in and outside of school. This might look like identifying a trusted support (teacher, guidance counselor, a parent, friend, or sibling) or support center (ex. Campus mental health center, etc.) and then working through a process to initiate a conversation, meeting or appointment. Normalize that it’s okay to ask and need the help of others, and that resiliency is founded on having a strong support system.
Stick to Routines: Routines help us create a predictable structure that can enhance our emotional stability. They also promote positive executive functioning by supporting skills such as planning, organizing, and task initiation. Developing a homework routine where a student is able to complete their work in a structured and timely manner is a great example! A student is able to organize their class materials, complete tasks, and give themselves enough time to problem-solve and navigate assignments.
Foster a Growth Mindset: Mistakes are an inevitable part of life. We can all think of a time when we did not handle a situation the way we should have or let someone down. Having a growth mindset allows us to see challenges or mistakes as an opportunity to learn, rather than a step backwards. Research shows that students with a growth mindset are more likely to choose activities that challenge them to learn new things. A growth mindset also helps students with executive functioning skills. When we are able to learn from our mistakes, we then have better insight on skills and strategies we can implement to prevent us from making the same choices.

A Life Long Journey

Karen Reivich, a psychologist and researcher claims, “resilience isn’t all or nothing. It comes in amounts. And no matter how resilient you are today, you can become more resilient tomorrow.” It is never too late to learn how to improve overall resilience. Similar to any school subject, students learn in gradual steps, with occasional roadblocks. We have to take it day by day and celebrate each victory as they come.

Links:

https://www.coachtrainingedu.com/blog/why-student-resilience-matters/

https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

https://purdue.edu/stepstoleaps/new/featured/well-being-tips/2024_0401.php