Tip of the Week

May 8, 2017

Why is my child lying to me?

Do you ever feel as though your child isn’t being entirely truthful with you about her academics? If so, consider the questions you’re asking her. Humans, young and old, are wired with an instinctual fight or flight response; when we feel threatened, whether the threat is real or imagined, we try to escape the threat as quickly and safely as possible. Questions like: “Did you finish your history project?” and “How have you been doing about keeping up with all of your Spanish homework?” immediately puts your child on the defensive. Try less threatening and more supportive statements instead: “I’d love to look at your history project with you — perhaps a fresh set of eyes can help.” “Let’s look at your homework portal together and I’ll help you make a plan to get any missing assignments done.” Like anything, this will take a lot of practice (and deep breaths!) but do it well and you will become a partner rather than an adversary.